The One Word that Gets Them Saying "Yes"!

by Dov Gordon

This insight is so simple - you may be tempted to dismiss it.

In all your communication with people, when asking them to do something, to support something or to believe something…Tell them the reasons WHY! 

Here’s  WHY: 

1. We are far more likely to comply with someone’s suggestion, to buy into a philosophy, invest in a product or service or ‘get on board’ a new program if we understand the thinking behind it.  Simple.  Obvious.
2. There is another, deeper reason.  We humans respond to triggers.  Studies show that using the word “because” can increase compliance by over 50%

In his classic book "Influence:  Science and Practice"  ( a must read for any marketer or salesperson!) Robert Cialdini relates the following:

“A well known principle of human behavior says that when we ask someone to do us a favor we will be more successful if we provide a reason.  People simply like to have reasons for what they do.  Ellen Langer, a researcher, demonstrated this unsurprising fact by asking a small favor of people waiting in line to use a library copying machine:

“Excuse me, I have five pages.  May I use the Xerox machine because I am in a rush?”

The effectiveness of this request-plus-reason was nearly total:  94% of those asked let her skip ahead of them in line.

Compare that to the success rate when she only asked:  “Excuse me, I have five pages.  May I use the Xerox machine?”

Under those circumstances, only 60% of those asked complied.

At first glance, it appears that the difference between the two requests was the additional information provided by the words “because I am in a rush.”  But a third type of request tried by Langer showed that this was not the case.  It seems that it was not the whole series of words, but the first one, “because,” that made the difference.  Instead of including a real reason for compliance, Langer’s third type of request used the word “because” and then, adding nothing new, merely restated the obvious:

“Excuse me, I have five pages.  May I use the Xerox machine because I have to make some copies?”

The result was that 93% agreed, even though no real reason, no new information, was added to justify their compliance!

 THE PRINCIPLES & THE LESSONS: 

People want shortcuts.  While there is clearly something to this little word "because" the real power lies in understanding WHY it created the results it did and how to leverage that understanding in our marketing and management.

This example and many others given by Cialdini prove that people respond to triggers.  Just as when you pull the trigger on a gun the bullet flies without pause, psychological triggers produce an automated response in humans -- action without thought.

Intelligence is irrelevant.  We all respond to triggers, the only question is which ones.

Cialdini relates another story about a tire company that, due to a printing error, mailed coupons that offered no savings.  Yet the coupons produced the same spike in sales as the mailing of coupons offering a discount.

In most people's minds, a coupon equals savings.  It provides a shortcut.  With a coupon you don't need to think and analyze where to buy new tires.  You just assume the coupon has the best deal.

In the photocopy story we see how otherwise intelligent, discriminating people turn off their minds and just comply when the right button is pushed.  The trigger frees them from having to evaluate the merit of the request.

The larger the request, the less automated the response.    When making a big decision, simple triggers are not likely to work for the obvious reason that triggers are rules we've created for ourselves based on past experiences.  Large decisions have fewer similar experiences to draw on.

All this means that you must make an effort to learn about your prospect or client.  Make a habit of studying your prospects and clients.  The more you learn about their lives, their experiences and how they've made similar decisions in the past, the easier it is to show them that what your suggestion today is essentially the same as what they've freely and successfully chosen in the past.

When your business involves asking people to make [big] decisions the time you invest to learn about them will help you uncover their 'hot-buttons' - the rules they've created for themselves.  Once you know their rules it is simple to link them to what you want them to do today.

Often you will want to help a prospect challenge their rules.  "Does that rule really serve you today?"  "Is that the only conclusion you could have drawn?  What about if you look at it this way...."  This is no different than asking someone to be sure a coupon really offers a savings.  On a small item they may not care to bother.  On a large item, they will value your guidance.

I certainly do not advocate manipulation.  We only want to understand how people do make their decisions whether you are involved or not! 

Often a prospect will resist your product or service -- not because it isn't exactly what he needs, but because something you've said, or something about your product triggers hesitation.  He's had a similar experience in which action caused pain (or hesitation caused pleasure) and now he's going to decide about your product based on that rule.

When facing resistance, your job is to learn about him until together you uncover the rule, the triggers, that form the roots of his reluctance.  Now challenge it:  Is a link really justified?  Should the same rules really apply?  Might this time be different and worthy of further examination?

At the same time, help him see how what you want him to do today is no different than what he has done in a similar situation in the past.  Just as he was pleased then, he will be pleased now.

So what is the one word that gets them saying yes?  On a superficial level we can say the word is "because."  Explaining why always helps.  And studies show that there is something magical about it.  But when we look more closely the key word is: "understanding." Any explanation for why to act must be based on a deep understanding of the person doing the deciding.

We’ve just scratched the surface of this subject.  I urge you to read "Influence" by Robert Cialdini.

 The Gordon Group's THOUGHT PROVOKER Questions: 

1. Re Strategy, Marketing and Sales:  Do you deeply understand your prospects and clients?  What can you do to learn more about what is most important to them?  What are they proud of?  What do they fear?  What frustrates them?  How can you better use this information on a tactical level in your marketing and sales?
2. The Reason WHY:  Do your ads show products or describe services but fail to educate and explain WHY someone should buy... based on a deep understanding of your target market?  Do you use the word "because?"
3. Systematize:  How can you systematize the ongoing, in depth study of your target market?  how can you systematically incorporate your newly acquired understanding in your marketing and sales systems?

1. Re Leadership and Management:  Do you deeply understand your employees? What motivates them?  What do they care about?  What are they proud of?  What do they fear?  What frustrates them?  How can you better use this information on a tactical level to create the kind of work environment and performance culture that is necessary to reach your goals?
2. The Reason WHY:  do you explain to your employees and team members WHY it is important to do what you ask of them the way you ask of them?
3. Systematize:  How can you systematize the ongoing, in depth study of your [key] people?  How can you systematically incorporate your newly acquired understanding into your leadership and management systems?

Please email me your thoughts and feedback.

Dov Gordon is President of The Gordon Group, www.GordonGroupEC.com, an Executive Coaching and Consulting firm.  He also facilitates the Executive Round-Table, a peer group for CEO's of mid-sized Israeli companies.

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