No One Is As Perfect As They First Seem.

by Dov Gordon

Sometimes we meet people and are charmed with their abilities, personality or... whatever.  The relationship develops and we hire them, marry them or engage them for a project.

With time, we get to know them better and discover that they are not quite as perfect as we first thought.  What now?

If you were flat out deceived terminate the relationship as soon as possible.

More commonly, you are just being treated to a glimpse of the other person's humanity.  An unpleasant experience may even leave a bitter taste in your mouth.

Take the selfish approach:

Ask yourself:  "Does he or she still inherently have what it takes to do and be what I expected?"  If yes, communicate your disappointment, fears or concerns, get over the bitter taste and move on.  Figure out what you can both learn from the experience and talk about how you can avoid a recurrence.  Reassure yourself that the person understands their mistakes and weakness and is working to improve.

If the answer is "no," it may be time to move on...  Just be sure that your momentary anger, disappointment or frustration doesn't lead you to sever a relationship with someone who isn't perfect... but nevertheless can still be highly valuable to you.

Please email me your thoughts and feedback.

Dov Gordon is President of The Gordon Group, www.GordonGroupEC.com, an Executive Coaching and Consulting firm.  He also facilitates the Executive Round-Table, a peer group for CEO's of mid-sized Israeli companies.

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